


In Pursuit of Comfort

by sun_and_solace



Series: How to Train Your Lightwarden [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Biting, Choking, Dark, Exhibitionism, F!WoL/Emet-Selch, F/M, Face-Fucking, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Lightwarden Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Mental Anguish, Mindbreak, Oral, Pain, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Slavery, Transformation, Unnamed Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, choking/vomiting light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23768194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_and_solace/pseuds/sun_and_solace
Summary: After the events with Innocence, the WoL stays in her room for a while, contemplating her next course of action. She sneaks out and makes her way to Amaurot, hoping to find some sort of solace or comfort in her last moments."... Please just.. I just want someone to tell me it will be okay."Emet nearly started laughing. She had come all the way here for this? For false reassurance?"I imagine you want someone to hug you too, do you?" he questioned, his voice betraying his amusement.The Warrior of Light said nothing, instead curling in on herself further."By Zodiark, you do! You came to me for this? You think I have time to waste on such trivial things?" he spat, the amusement now gone.
Relationships: Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Series: How to Train Your Lightwarden [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783660
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Neila_Nuruodo for the casual beta ❤️ 
> 
> Shadbowbringers/5.0 Spoilers
> 
> CW: noncon, mindbreak, choking (minimal), pain (minimal)  
> F!WoL/Emet-Selch

Tired. So tired. 

Exhausted.

...

...Hopeless.

Everything was a haze, as though the Warrior of Light was observing the world through a thin layer of gauze. The Light's constant presence felt like nigh constant drowning. She felt sluggish, her movements slowed and breathing a chore as though she was walking through tar, breathing in cotton.

She gazed out at the desolate looking city that stretched before her. Despite being awash with light glinting in near every window, it seemed hollow. Empty. A reflection of the emotions swimming within her. This was.. okay... right? This was the right thing to do...

The Warrior of Light thought back to her friends, many of whom were undoubtedly still searching fervently for a cure for her ails, and choked back a sob. She knew they'd probably be terrified when they knocked on her door and found her missing, and heartbroken when they searched the small expanse of Norvrandt for her and returned with naught. Tataru.. Alisaie... they'd probably take it the worst. Thancred, Y'shtola, Urianger.... they'd mourn quietly, as was their way. Ryne.. Poor Ryne... The Warrior would miss her, having watched her flourish over their time together. She had grown so strong....

She shook her head in an attempt to banish the thoughts, lest they bubble over in a wave of inhuman sobs and tears. She was here now, at his invitation, and yet, despite the lengths she went to to make her way here, she questioned her decision. But what else could she have done? Stay, and risk harming her friends when she turned. At least this way... at least this way they'd be safe... safer than if she'd stayed. At least, that's what she hoped. She knew that turning would spell the end for the world... but perhaps.. perhaps this way some small catastrophe could be averted, even if temporarily.

She knew not what she'd find here, in Emet-Selch's self-created city, but his promise of privacy was at least something. The Warrior of Light knew she would not be able to bear watching the expressions on her friend's faces as she turned. Mortified, disgusted, heartbroken. No doubt the emotion that welled in her in response would only serve to make her more destructive after she'd turned. 

She bit her lip, wringing her hands in front of her chest. Perhaps... perhaps.. there was some bittersweet comfort to be found here, where she did not need to fear harming her friends, or watching the pain her suffering caused them.

***

She gazed up at the Capitol, papers in hand, pondering what she had just learnt. Speaking to the robed shades of Amaurot had left her feeling raw, more vulnerable than she had when she first arrived. She inhaled slowly and held her breath. A weak attempt to calm her nerves. Soon she'd be face to face with her enemy. She should feel angry, upset, but instead all she felt was hollow, a gnawing emptiness in her chest.

The Warrior reached forward to open the doors that towered over her, clearly designed for beings far taller than she. Her hand trembled before its goal, emotions threatening to spill over once more. With her free hand she gripped at her wrist, closing her eyes and willing her tears to stay put. 

Once she felt sufficiently in control again, she pushed the door open, taking only a few tentative steps forward before the Ascian revealed his presence, looking on in his usual stoic manner.

So she actually decided to come. It'd be a lie to say he wasn't surprised - he had truly thought she'd fight it out and stubbornly refuse his aid, but he found it strangely.. endearing.. to see her so resigned to her fate. 

Emet-Selch looked her dejected form up and down. The way she now carried herself was so _pitiful_ compared to the once powerful aura she exuded. She appeared fragile and held herself as though she were a lost child. 

"Well I am sorely disappointed," he stated dryly, shaking his head and raising his arms to shrug. "I thought I invited a monster, not some broken thing."

The Warrior of Light looked down to avoid his gaze, and balled her fists, crumpling the paper she held with them. 

"Sorry, but there's no where else for me to be," she said pointedly.

"A pity. You won't be much use to me like this," Emet stated, turning around and proceeding to walk back from where he came. "I'll arrange for someone to see you out."

"N-No."

The cry fell from her lips before she could stop it.

The Ascian swung back around to face her.

"What was that?"

The Warrior of Light stared at the floor, trying to collect her thoughts. No, she couldn't appear weak. Not now. Not in front of _him_. She slipped her hands into one another and squeezed, trying to regain control of her tumultuous emotions.

"N-Nothing," she gasped, tears welling up despite herself.

"Is that so? You don't sound particularly certain." 

The Warrior was silent except for her shaky breathing. Her hands had curled up into a fist, grasping at one another as though in a battle for dominance, new tears threatening to spill over.

Emet-Selch stepped forward, watching as salty droplets fell from the Warrior's face to the floor silently.

"I asked a question, you mustn't keep me waiting."

She choked back a sob. 

"I-I said it's nothing!"

She crossed her arms in on herself.

"Do you think lying will improve the situation?"

Her breathing froze.

"I- I... just... want someone who understands," she whispered.

"And you think that's me, do you?" Emet asked, a hint of unamusement in his voice.

"No but... you _know_."

"I know?"

"You know what's going to happen to me."

Silence.

"... Please just.. I just want someone to tell me it will be okay."

Emet nearly started laughing. She had come all the way here for _this_? For false reassurance?

"I imagine you want someone to hug you too, do you?" he questioned, his voice betraying his amusement.

The Warrior of Light said nothing, instead curling in on herself further.

"By Zodiark, you do! You came to _me_ for this? You think I have time to waste on such _trivial_ things?" he spat, the amusement now gone.

A sob broke from her lips, the emptiness within her clawing to get out.

"No but.. but.. I.. _Please_... " The plea left her tongue as though it were not her own, the hollowness, the pit in her stomach, having taken on a consciousness of its own. 

She fell to the floor, sobs racking her body as she struggled to breathe. 

"Please..." she begged. "Please..."

Emet-Selch looked down at her. What a _pitiful_ creature she was. That the Warrior of Light could be broken so easily. Her endless willpower, her stoic, unwavering strength, gone. Here she was, begging him for his touch. _His_ touch, of all people. Her enemy. So far had she fallen, so desperate had she become, that she sought comfort from he who willed her to turn. He who willed her suffering, and that of all those she loved.

He stepped down into a kneel, placing his leather gloved hand under her chin, and forced her eyes up to meet his gaze.

She gazed back through bleary eyes, seeing little but a blur of colour and light. Through the haze she could vaguely make out subtle elements of disgust painted on his features as he looked down his nose at her. Part of her mind urged her to yank herself out of his grip, reeling at the thought of her enemy being so close to her. And yet, despite her discomfort, she found herself unable to pull back, her skin instead rejoicing beneath his touch, after having been starved of any intimacy for so long.

"Pathetic," he spat, pulling her up to her feet with ease. 

_And yet..._

The Ascian looked over the figure that stood in front of him, shaking. Ever since he had seen her he had desired her suffering and her service. And here she was, begging for his touch, his comfort. The mere thought of watching her squirm and cry beneath his caress had his skin prickling with desire, his hands itching. Despite being so... unbecoming... how could he resist when she was right here? No one else was here to observe, and the chances of her fleeing back to her friends now was.. well.. unlikely, to say the least. 

"Clothes."

She blinked. "W-what?"

"Clothes," Emet-Selch demanded. "I have a mind to oblige you."

"B-But why...?"

Emet-Selch sighed. "Must I explain everything for you?" 

He entertained the thought of doing so for a moment, pondering how she would react to a detailed explanation of all he wanted to do to her, her mortified expression, her disgust, but decided against it, instead electing to place his hands at the front of her collar and pull, abruptly tearing the Warrior of Light's upper garment in two, leaving her bralette exposed.

She let out a cry in her shock, and attempted to cover herself back up, prompting the Ascian to swiftly swat her arms out of the way as though they were little more than flies, pushing what remained of her garb off her shoulders and onto the floor. 

"N-No.. this isn't what I-" The Warrior of Light stammered, covering her upper body as best she could with her arms, and stepping backwards, the warmth rising to her cheeks and fear welling in her stomach.

A smile flitted across Emet-Selch's face before returning to his usual stoic and unamused expression. He stepped forward, grabbing the Warrior of Light's arms and pulling them over her shoulders with ease, putting an abrupt stop to her feeble attempts at protecting her dignity.

"Come now, what decency do you have left? You _asked_ me for this." Emet said coyly, lifting the Warrior of Light as though she weighed naught and pinning her back against a wall.

"N-No I..." she trailed off, her thoughts a mess of panic and despair as she watched his gaze flit over the upper half of her body. 

With his free hand, Emet hastily removed the Warrior of Light's pants the same way he removed her upper garb, leaving her only in her small clothes. 

A cry broke from her lips as he let go, drinking in the appearance of her supple flesh, a hunger growing within. He had spent so long suppressing his carnal desires, and now here she was, just within his reach, the despair emanating from her only serving to strengthen the greed within.

The Warrior of Light crumpled to the floor, shivering, gooseflesh rising in response to the sudden cold that washed over her skin. This despite the heat that coursed through her body, awash with panic. Her stomach knotted, and she closed her eyes, trying to control the craze of emotions running through her.

Emet-Selch pulled his hands free from their gloves, allowing them to plop to the floor unceremoniously, before bending forward to wrap his hand around the Warrior of Light's tiny neck, and pull upwards, bringing her once more to her feet, and pressing her back up against the cold marble wall.

The Warrior of Light let out a yelp, her eyes snapping open in response to the sudden force, and gazing wide-eyed at the Ascian who stood in front of her, taking in her appearance. She tried desperately to read the expression on his face, to discern his intentions, but her search came back empty - his expression was the same as it always was, and her focus was in tatters.

As she watched his gaze flit across her form she felt warmth, desire, rising to the surface of her skin, prickling. She found herself longing for his hands to run across her skin, to hold her and press her up against his heat. 

_Hold me.._

The words did not leave her lips, too humiliated by the idea of voicing her pitiful desire for warmth, yet she knew her expression painted all. 

Under his gaze she felt a heat rising in her stomach, threatening to bubble over her lips in the form of whines and desperation. She wanted so badly to reject it, and yet she found herself accepting it with open arms instead, her fight weakening.

Emet-Selch squeezed gently, eliciting small whimpers from the Warrior of Light. He could see from her gaze the war she waged in her head, trying desperately not to give in to her desires, and his lips twisted into a smirk, his free hand returning to her waist. He ran his hand along the curve of her hip, watching her sway her body gently as if to keep it beneath his touch, small sighs escaping her lips despite her obvious attempts to keep them from doing so.

He squeezed firmer now, causing the Warrior of Light's breath to catch in her throat, her eyes to open with alarm and then lull slightly as he cut off the flow of blood, her mouth agape. He moved his hand upwards, along her rib cage, tracing the shape of the bones under the skin and delighting in the trail of gooseflesh he left in his wake, loosening his grip on her throat.

She inhaled sharply, her senses returning to her all at once, and whimpered, her body now moving of its own accord, her ability to think fading rapidly as the heat within her grew. Beneath his touch it felt like her skin sang, rejoiced, and cried out for more. She felt like she were melting from the inside out, as though a pool of liquid gold were accumulating in her stomach, her legs quivering.

 _"Please,"_ she whined softly, her desperation having long ago won over her feeble attempts at controlling herself. " _Please,"_ she repeated again, so softly she wasn't sure the Ascian had heard it.

But he had.

"Look at you, no better than an animal in heat," he said, disappointment dripping in his voice.

And yet, his statement caused the fire within her to burn brighter, and she let out a long, low, whine, arching her back as if begging for his touch, her hands curling into fists.

Emet-Selch moved his hand from her ribcage to the notch between her breasts, and pulled gently at the fabric that sat there, the fixing at the back giving away with little resistance.

As the air hit her chest, the Warrior of Light felt her nipples tingle and tighten, begging to be touched, and she squeezed her legs together, her eyes still screwed shut.

Emet-Selch used his free hand to cup her breast gently, running his finger over the perky, mottled flesh in the centre.

"Look at me." 

Once more, despite seeming impossible, her body was set ablaze. She felt the desperate, needy expression on her face grow, finding it near impossible to open her eyes, to face his gaze, knowing the neediness he would see there.

" _Look at me,"_ he growled, anger edging into his voice. "Are you so far gone that you can't follow such a _simple_ instruction?"

She willed her eyes to open, fearful of what he would do should she fail to obey his command.

The Ascian gazed into her eyes as his hand toyed with her dimpled flesh, reveling in the anguish he could read in her bleary eyes and down-turned brows. 

He wrapped his thumb and forefinger around the flesh and pinched, twisting, eliciting a sharp cry from the Warrior of Light, her fists opening and reaching forward, to cling onto the fabric of his cloak, as if to ground herself.

Watching her squirm and cry had begun to take its toll on the Ascian too. He felt the firmness, the warmness in his crotch, pressing up against the fabric and begging for the mercy of being let free. 

He loosened his grip around her throat and moved his thumb to her mouth, brushing over her lower lip with the pad of his thumb before pressing between them with the tip. So far gone was she that her mouth opened with little resistance, as if welcoming the intrusion that now pressed down on her tongue.

He let go of her breast, and with his foot, pushed down at the back of her calf, causing her legs to buckle beneath her and forcing her into a kneeling position.

He pulled hurriedly at his robes, parting them at the front so that he could free his cock from its soaked restraints, threads of precum glistening as he pulled it away from his garments, and ran his hand along his length a few times, gazing down at the Warrior of Light.

Her expression had become dumb, empty, her breath coming out in short gasps. Any semblance of sanity she once maintained had vanished, desire and need filling its place. He grabbed her hair with his other hand, balling it into a fist, and pushed her head up against the wall before pushing his cock into her slack mouth.

Her lips closed around his head, tongue rolling around where the shaft met the tip. His smell, his taste, choked her senses, overwhelming her, consuming her. He pulled on her hair, forcing her further down his length. The sting in her scalp felt so distant and otherworldly. Her lips parted, welcoming more of him into her.

As he worked her head over his length, her tongue lolling over the firm flesh, her limp arms found themselves searching, grabbing at the parted fabric of his robes, at his legs, his hips, pulling him towards her in their thoughtless hunger. Soft moans escaped her lips as her body rocked back and forth in response to his guidance, chortles and gags escaping from her throat here and there when he pushed himself fully into her parted mouth.

The Warrior of Light sank slowly closer to the floor, her legs splaying as the Ascian towered over her, his fist curled within her locks, pulling, stinging. Drool spilled from her lips between thrusts, pooling on her legs, on the floor in front of her, a symbol of her thirst, her desire. In her dazed state, she knew she felt grateful in some messed up way for the intimacy she had been provided with, despite being far from the form of comfort she craved, but she had lost herself, unable to reason and think, and for now it was all she could do to hungrily lick at the one who violated her mouth. 

Her throat burned, grateful for his violation, and then her ears rung, her head slammed backwards into the wall by the one controlling her, his grip on her hair tightening like a vice as he thrust his hips as far forward as they would go.

Emet held his breath through the momentary tightness, then exhaled slowly as he filled her, delighting in the soft, suppressed choking and coughing noises the Warrior emitted, her fists curling up, clawing at his legs as she struggled to breathe through the onslaught. 

The Ascian's grip on her hair loosened and he pulled backwards, her head falling forward. He paced his breathing, bringing himself back to a state of calm, watching as a mixture of his essence and her saliva dripped from her parted lips, joining the pool on the floor. There was silence for a while, the only noise in the room the sound of her labored breathing, his hand still loosely knotted within her hair. And then the Ascian pulled abruptly to the side, throwing the Warrior of Light to the ground.

His hunger yet unsatiated, he ran his hands over her chest, squeezing aggressively at her flesh as his touched snaked downwards towards her thighs, his hands running along the outside as she shuddered under his touch, her back arching reflexively to meet him. 

Emet placed a hand on her inner thigh and slid upwards slowly, amused at the way her legs spread in need in response to his touch. As he ran a knuckle slowly up the wet fabric that kept her temptation from dripping down her legs, he stared up at her face, eyes screwed shut, brows contorted with a mix of desire and, still, distress. Her back arched in tandem with his own lust as he pressed gently on the fabric with his thumb, rolling the tip over the sensitive skin.

The Warrior of Light moaned, hips bucking slightly, her body begging him silently to hurry along. Amused, the Ascian slipped a finger underneath the cloth and pulled downwards, strings of slickness breaking away from the wet material, laying bare her need for Emet to plainly see.

"How filthy," Emet said bluntly, masterfully hiding the entertainment from his voice. "Are you _truly_ so deprived, so depraved, that you'd allow yourself to be so debased?"

The Eorzean beneath him whined, squirming. Truly this was no longer a sapient creature, but a being of no more than need and desire that writhed beneath him, so desirous of a comforting touch that it would accept even the loosest form of intimacy in its place.

Emet placed his hands on the soft skin of her inner thighs and pushed apart, further exposing her yearning for him to see. Slowly, he ran a finger along the slick folds between the Warrior's legs, prying them apart and toying with various sections of her sex, before sliding in two fingers and bending, brushing the tips of his fingers firmly against her upper wall, eliciting a mix of a cry and a moan from the Warrior of Light's sullied lips. 

As he motioned with his fingers, he pressed down firmly with his thumb, circling, causing her to writhe in pleasure below him, a cacophony of soft mewls and moans letting loose from her mouth. Bringing his mouth to her breast he ran his tongue along the sensitive flesh, taking in a mouthful before biting down abruptly, earning a sharp yelp and a jump from the creature he held beneath him.

Once more he felt the heat rising in his crotch, his cock growing, pressing up against the Warrior's thigh, causing her breath to quicken as if in anticipation.

Emet-Selch sat up, pulling free his now slick fingers and rubbing off the wetness the Warrior of Light had left behind on them onto her leg, before wrapping his hands around the outside of her thighs. He pulled forward abruptly, bringing the Eorzean up onto his kneeling, parted legs, the tip of his cock just barely pressing up against her wetness.

As if in response to the newfound protrusion, the Warrior of Light bucked her hips in a pathetic attempt to grind herself against the hardness.

"How disgusting."

The Ascian moved his hands away from her thighs, watching as she continued to move her hips up and down in an attempt to bring about her own release, and felt his cock twitching in desperation of it's own.

"You truly are such a broken thing.." Emet-Selch said pointedly, running his fingers over her cheek. "No fight left to give... No life left to live..."

His words coursed through the Warrior of Light's veins, the fire licking at every part of her soul making anything but begging him for more, yearning for his touch in the form of pathetic needy noises impossible.

Emet-Selch growled quietly, his need having grown to the point it could not be ignored, and grabbed her by her hips once more, shifting and positioning himself so that with a single thrust, he fully sheathed himself within her.

The Warrior of Light let out a cry of pain at the sudden intrusion prying its way into her, her eyes snapping open after so long having been screwed shut. The size of it burned, setting the liquid within the pit of her stomach aflame along with the rest of her body. Her hands reached out for something to hold, grasping onto the front of the Ascians robes, as if pulling herself towards him, or him towards her. 

He leaned forward, running his lips along and up her collarbone, her neck, the tip of her ear as tears welled up within her eyes and spilled over silently, her mouth agape. She relished in the tingling she felt as his breath touched her skin, the pressure of his hands squeezing at her flesh, prying her wrists off his robes and pinning them firmly against the floor, so firmly that it hurt.

The mewls escaping her mouth had turned into soft moans, so quiet one wouldn't notice them unless they listened for them. The Ascian quickened his pace, now gripping at her upper arms, pushing down on them with such strength that it was almost as though he were trying to push her through the floor.

With every thrust, the Warrior arched her back to meet him, her mind reeling in response to the shattering sensation she felt when he hit her cervix. It felt like she was coming apart at the seams, the Light threatening to overwhelm her, stars dancing along her vision. It was as though he had poured himself into her and was tearing, clawing at every part of her soul, desperate to see, to feel, all of her. As though he possessed her.

She shuddered, her orgasm tearing through her shattered form as Emet thrust one last time, burying himself into her. His toes curled as the tension rose and fell with his release, the Warrior of Light's arms feebly grasping at the air, at him.

"T-thank you," she breathed, her hands weakly clutching at his robes. "Thank you.." she breathed again, exhaling shakily, her dulled mind only able to discern the gratitude she felt at having been held.

The Ascian sat backwards, the Eorzean's body slipping down, letting him slide out of her, his essence spilling from her wetness and over her ass onto the floor. There was no denying the sense of satisfaction he felt as he watched the Eorzean stare meekly into space, breathing shakily, tears now drying up. Her limbs lay limp beside her, and she made no motion to pick herself up.

He found himself feeling pleased, and realised that he felt a sick satisfaction in seeing her like this. While he relished her rivalry, seeing her so broken, so malleable, something he could toy with at his will filled him with a truly insatiable appetite... Perhaps keeping her around in this broken, half turned form, would not be in his worst interests. After all, she was so... pitifully willing to let him do as he pleased in desire of his touch.

Emet-Selch picked himself up off the floor, grabbing the Warrior of Light's torn clothes from the corner and throwing them onto her limp body.

"Come," he said, beckoning with his hand. "Take what comfort you can from this world, seeing as your mind wont be here for much longer."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this is a lightwarden/transformation fic now xD  
> It unfortunately provided a very nice basis for that other thing I'm really into, so here we are.
> 
> Please RECHECK the tags, as this may no longer be your style of fic. (also note the scions will see her in his clutches in a rather unpleasant manner, you've been warned.)

The Warrior Of Light awoke in a relatively dull and empty room. The walls and ceiling were marble - still in Amaurot- but when had she been moved? Slowly she shifted to sit up, her muscles promptly screaming angrily in complaint, a swift reminder of the events that had but recently past.

_ Oh, right... _

She winced, swallowing. Her throat was unbelievably dry, and her eyelids swollen from what she presumed was her crying.

How? How had this happened? How had she allowed this to happen?

"Finally awake?"

The Warrior of Light froze.

_ Because you wanted comfort. _

"I've brought you some food."

Emet-Selch waltzed over to where the Warrior of Light lay on the floor, prompting her to bolt upright. When metal clinked upon metal, a heaviness weighing her limbs down, she realised that he had chained her.

"W-what...."

Emet brought himself to a kneel by her side, placing the bowl of food beside her. It smelled good, and certainly roused an appetite she hadn't realised she'd grown. With a cautionary glance at the Ascian, the Warrior leaned forward and gingerly plucked the bowl from the floor, taking a spoonful of the stew and blowing on it before bringing it to her lips. The taste was simple, but it was warming, comforting. She nodded nigh invisibly to say thanks.

"It won't be long now."

As if on cue, the shattering of glass rung through the Warrior of Light's ears, mortification crossing her face. She tried to swiftly place the bowl of stew to the side, but a bolt of pain through her chest, clawing, consuming, as though there were a shard embedded twixt her breasts, caused her to keel over, food spilling to the floor before her as she curled up. 

"You'll become a beautiful monster."

_ No! _

Light, searing hot and angry, began to gurgle in her chest, filling her lungs and her airway and causing her to heave and cough, luminescent strings of bile spilling forth from her lips to the floor. She shook her head, and Emet's palm descended upon her scalp, causing her to flinch as he began to stroke.

"There, it'll be okay."

She hissed as she hacked again, turning to scowl at the other.

"Now now, don't look at me like that! I can make it better."

Her scowl let up, but the shuddering continued, beads of drool and bile spilling to the floor before her.

" _ If _ you will serve me."

The Warrior of Light felt her entire body tense with glowing hot rage, with disgust. How  _ dare _ this man. She scowled, contorting her face with even greater fury than prior, and hissed at him even as her body shuddered.

" _ Fuck you, how fucking d-" _

A fit of hacking interrupted her, her fists curling in on themselves in anger as Emet laughed.

"Very well.."

And as she continued to cough, hack and retch, he was gone, leaving her to her suffering with food still strewn across the floor.

** * ** * ** 

The Warrior of Light screamed something fierce. The pain was unbearable, as though dozens of hot daggers plunged into and sliced at her back, over and over and  _ over. _ It felt like dry ice bubbled in her chest, ice cold and searing hot at the same time, clogging up her lungs. Her throat constricted and filled with fluid, causing her to cough and heave endlessly. There was no respite from the pain. If anything ever dulled, something new would take its place. When the coughing and retching let up, and she was no longer drooling strings of light, her hands began to prickle as though needles both dug into them and tried to tear their way out at the same time, throbbing angrily in pain. When the slicing on her back abated, her entire face ached as though it were weighed down by a house.

Never before had she wanted something to stop so dearly. The pain consumed everything, every sense. Her vision blacked out, and all she could hear was the sound of her own screaming, grown hoarse from its unceasing nature. She didn't notice when Emet-Selch entered the room, nor when he knelt next to her, until his palm rested atop her back, a hot knife cutting through the prickling cold of her skin, pulling her towards him and.. cradling her?

With no other source of comfort, the Warrior of Light let him, shifting into his lap as tears streamed down her face. Where he touched it felt cool, comforting, as though the pain shied away from his touch, finally allowing her a moment of respite. 

"Such unconscionable actions by your friends..." Emet murmured, his hand stroking along her back. It felt so good to feel something human after so much unceasing pain, and the Warrior of Light found herself easing into his touch. It was both warm and cool at the same time, and incredibly comforting amidst everything else.

"Letting you throw yourself at danger, take hurt after hurt after hurt..." His hand moved to stroke her scalp as she winced at his words. "But of course they would, for which among them would willingly take your place?"

His hand caught her jaw and tilted her gaze up to him. Mirth danced behind his eyes, and his lips tugged upwards at the edges.

"They let you behave so selflessly, and leave you to suffer."

Her brows knit together as he leant forward, eyes glowing softly in the darkness. 

"They leave you to rot inside for they had no real plan to save you."

_ Too much. _

"S-Stop..."

The Warrior of Light felt her lower lip tremble, and she screwed her eyes shut, tears continuing to stream silently down her face.

"Please..." 

She tried to stifle a sob but it fought its way from her throat, and she tore her face from his hands, swiftly burying it into his lap and letting her hands cling to his robes as a flood of emotions gripped her, silent sobs racking her body. She was vaguely aware of his hand stroking along her back, his lips pressing to her scalp as her tears wet his robes, but she couldn't bring herself to swat his hands away. For all she was going through his comfort felt so good, and it was all she'd get, as much as she hated who it came from.

"I..." she choked out. "I don't want to transform...."

His hands on her back stilled.

"I don't want to become  _ that _ ."

His hand shifted to her cheek and under her jaw, bringing her gaze to meet his. Bleary eyed, she gazed up at him, the corner of his mouth curled upright.

"Now, don't speak like that," Emet said affectionately, his hand moving to cup her cheek and stroke away at the tears that still trailed down her face. "You're going to be so beautiful..."

Emet's other hand slid down her arm to twine into her fingers and squeeze gently.

"You're already becoming so lovely..."

Emet's hand left hers and snapped, a mirror fading into existence in his hand.

"Look.."

Emet turned the mirror towards her face, his hand still cupping her face as if to keep her gaze fixed forward as he tilted the reflective surface towards her. Horror and sickness pooled in the pit of the Warrior's stomach as she gazed at what she saw before her. Her skin had turned the colour of ash, grey-white, and her eyes were blown wide and black. She thought back to what she had seen in Amh Areng, and flinched, swiftly shying away from the reflection.

"N-no!"

The sobs that she had once silenced grew into full blown wails as she took her head in her hands, her face growing hot as a mess of emotions surged through her veins. Once again she felt Emet's hand curl over her scalp, stroking as she choked on her own sobs.

"Don't worry sweet thing..." 

The Ascian leant over her, taking her body in his arms and pulling her back flush against his. She didn't try to resist, didn't even flinch when his hand cupped and stroked her cheek again, bringing the mirror before her to look at herself, his head over her shoulder.

"I'll take care of you every step of the way."

She felt his lips press to her scalp, and her eyes slipped closed as she continued to choke on her own breath between sobs.

"But I suppose... I can prevent you from  _ fully _ losing yourself."

She stilled as best she was able, hiccuping as she swallowed each sob.

_ What? _

"After all.. I seem to have grown quite fond of your presence.." He pressed his lips upon the nape of her neck, and she shivered. 

"But as I stated previously..." His eyes met hers in the mirror. "For that, you will need to be mine."

She exhaled shakily, letting her head hang, eyes to the floor as he stroked her scalp.

"It doesn't matter," she breathed, her voice so weak, so quiet, she wasn't sure if he heard her. "I'll do anything... just.. please don't let me become a monster.."

She quivered, curling in on herself as he continued to stroke her.

"I don't want to hurt people..."

** * ** * **

He kept his promise. The Warrior of Light was not driven by hunger, but she no longer felt much of anything besides fear. Each emotion she experienced bubbled to the surface briefly, then flickered away. She knew there was more to her than what she felt, but any time she tried to grasp at those memories they fluttered away, leaving only an echo in their wake. All she knew was him. He took care of her, took away the pain, the fear. She knew once she had hated him, but she could not fathom how. He loved her, and now she loved him. He was her solace, her comfort. Each word he spoke she clung to, each touch he gave her, bliss in her touch starved form.

Any time the pain threatened to take her he would hold her in his arms. It was so warm in them, so comforting. He stroked her back, whispered at her, and she clung to his voice like honey, a beacon in the swirling sea of emptiness and fear and pain in which she existed. She was so grateful for him. For the fact that he kept her and cared for her, used her; such an empty mindless creature.

Two glorious pairs of wings spread from her back, and every time he came to see her he spent ages running his hand over them, cleaning them, stroking them, whispering to her about how beautiful she was. 

She'd spend her nights shivering, curled up in the corner, and when he came to see her it was as though warmth flooded through her, and she'd curl beside him, waiting as he stroked her and the shuddering abated. And he'd touch her, hand shifting over her breast and between her legs, leading her to his crotch to take from her what he desired and what she loved to give, for it felt so good.

And other times when the shivering abated she'd serve on her own, so keen to show him her devotion, her love and adoration for him, her obsession to serve him, she'd curl between his legs, pawing between his legs until he gave her what she desired and she'd embrace him with her mouth, so hungry to serve.

When he wasn't there she'd curl into the blankets he'd left her, rubbing them over herself, the scent of her master clinging to them a memory; a need she couldn't suppress. She needed him. Without him she was nothing. 

She loved him. And he was all she knew.

** * ** * **

Emet-Selch kept her chained by his throne, beautiful and pale, skin and wings like marble. She was the very image of perfection, statuesque and awe inspiring, and she adored him. There was nothing she wouldn't do for him, and this he knew. She spent hours clinging to his leg, nuzzling his palm as he stroked her head, and with a single word or motion of his hand she'd kneel before him and take him in her mouth. She was so very eager to please him, to show her affection and adoration for him, and she gave him everything. 

If he wished it, she'd bare herself to him, wrapping her limbs to cling around him as he took her. 

If he wished it she'd spread her legs and stand above him, allowing his fingers to explore within her as she shuddered and moaned.

If he wished it she'd open her mouth and let him press into her, all while she gazed at him adoringly.

Some days when the fear struck her too much he'd merely have her open her lips, and while she shuddered and he stroked her head lovingly he'd use her. Even in her fear, his touch - her master's touch - was such comfort, such bliss that she gave him everything.

And in return he kept the light at bay, just at the edge of her complete transformation.

A good exchange, Emet-Selch believed. A good deal, for with each day he grew ever fonder of her, of his pet.

** * ** * **

Thancred charged into the throne room, the rest of the Scions filtering in after him. There Emet-Selch sat, lounging on his chair, a sin eater by his side nuzzled into his palm, stroking his arm and kissing it adoringly as he stroked her head. She made no movement to acknowledge their presence, but Emet smirked.

"Well, it took you long enough to find this place."

"Where is she!?" Thancred practically spat the words at the Ascian. "Where is the Warrior of Light!?"

Emet-Selch turned to the pet on his side, coaxing her head to gaze towards him, his thumb trailing over her lower lip as she practically purred.

"Agape, dearest Bringer of Light, will you not serve your master?"

With a soft gasp, the creature shifted on all fours to kneel before Emet-Selch, her eyes fixed on his hands expectantly as he freed himself, holding his length upright and groaning softly as she took him into her mouth with a pleased sound. His palms moved to stroke her scalp as she began to bob over his length, soft wet noises escaping from between her lips as Emet let his head fall back, gasping softly at her ministrations for a brief moment before fixing his gaze on Thancred and smiling.

"Dearest thing.." his hand tugged into her locks and pulled her off him with a pop, turning her slightly to gaze at their visitors. "Do you remember these people?"

A soft whine broke forth from her throat. There was some familiarity, but she could not pin her finger on it. A sense of longing bubbled up within her, and a tear rolled down her face.

"Ah, you do..."

Emet leant forward, bringing his lips just inches from her ear.

"Do you want them to save you?"

More vague memories and emotions. She did, but.. she knew she shouldn't. Regardless, she could not lie to her master. He had given her everything, and to lie would be to dishonor him. She nodded, and Emet's grasp on her scalp disappeared.

"Ah, a shame, I had grown rather fond of your adoration. I suppose this means you've forgotten about our agreement?"

Emet-Selch snapped his fingers, and with a scream the Warrior of Light fell to the floor, screams growing louder and turning into wails as she clawed at her suddenly shifting skin, silk forming as though something invisible spun a cocoon round her. From her lips vague noises spilled forth, as though she were begging, pleading. She turned her gaze towards the Ascian and shook her head furiously as she continued to wail and struggle in pain.

"You see," Emet said, turning his attention to the Scions. "I can keep the world safe from her.. But.."

He snapped his fingers, and the Warrior of Light fell still, curling in on herself as she quivered in the aftershocks of pain.

"If she goes with you, I rescind my hold on her. Our agreement will be void, and she will resume her transformation."

Emet-Selch stood up and walked over to where the Warrior of Light quivered on the floor, stroking his hand over her arm and coaxing her into his embrace.

"Agreement?" Thancred hissed, and the Ascian smirked.

"She would be mine, and I'd stop her from undergoing her entire transformation."

Thancred took a step forward, and the Warrior of Light shifted, turning towards him and holding out her arms protectively, gazing up at him with her brows knitted together. She had to protect her master from this stranger, and yet there was something else. Something that told her, even aside from protecting him, this was the right thing to do. This would be right for _them_ - for these people she did not know.

The gunbreaker stilled, gazing at her. Behind those eyes there was some understanding. Vague and distant, but she knew, and Thancred took a step back, anger dissipating. For a brief moment he wondered, had she.. done this to prevent harm from coming to them?

"And look..." Emet-Selch walked back to his throne, clicking his fingers and tearing her attention away from her desperate attempts to understand her actions. She turned and crawled towards him, resuming her place by his leg and nuzzling into his palm, curling into his touch as she shivered.

"She's so happy by my side."

"You.. She..." Anger bubbled forth again, and Thancred scowled. "She doesn't have any of herself left!"

Emet smirked. 

"No, she does..." His gaze turned towards her, and he trailed his hand down her cheek, cupping her jaw so she gazed up at him. "It's distant and faded, and she is mostly a husk yes, but somewhere in there there's a part of her left. Why else do you think she nodded?"

"But then..." Thancred's shoulder dropped, defeated. "Why.. "

"Why what?"

Emet tugged on the Warrior of Light's hair, bringing her back in front of him as he leant forward.

"Keep going precious thing," he murmured, and swiftly she leant forward, taking him back in her mouth and resuming her service, even as she trembled.

"Why.. does she.." Thancred's face turned sour and he wrinkled his nose as he watched the Warrior of Light servicing the Ascian. "That."

Emet glanced up.

"I  _ did _ say she was mostly a husk, did I not? I take care of her, keep the pain away. It only makes sense she would adore her keeper."

Thancred scowled, and took a step forward.

"You sick bastard!"

Emet-Selch clicked his tongue, palm settling upon the Warrior of Light's head and causing her to make a sound like a purr.

"She agreed to this. Perhaps she did not agree to adoring me or being in near constant fear and pain I will admit, but she did agree to be mine, so long as I stopped the transformation. And I did, the rest is just part and parcel."

"You lied to her!"

"Zodiark no! I did stop the transformation. If I didn't she'd be uncontrollable and full of hunger. No, I am far more fond of her this way." Emet pulled her off him and ran his hand below her jaw, tilting her gaze to meet his and beaming at her. "Isn't that right?"

He pulled her up and into his lap, allowing her to rest her head against his shoulder as he resumed stroking her head, his hand snaking between her legs and fluttering over her folds.

"And see.. I could give her over to you, but then the sliver of her that is left would not remain, and I guarantee you would not have an easy time stopping her once the transformation is finished."

Thancred took a step back, defeated, gaze flitting to the other Scions to see his own expression mirrored back at him.

"She lingers on the edge of becoming a full Lightwarden, and only I keep her there. There is nothing you can do." Emet smiled. "Unless you want the rejoining to resume."

He turned to her, shifting and pressing his fingers up into her as she moaned.

"I will admit, I am very fond of her this way and have no intention of letting her complete her transformation."

He placed a kiss upon her cheek, and she nuzzled further into his neck, whimpering as he pressed his length to her sex.

"Now, if you don't mind..."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you want to scream about FFXIV fanfiction, Zenos, Emet-Selch, and anyone else, come join us at our discord server at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/RHEBesD). We'd love to meet you ♥


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